Do you think you are a people pleaser?
Oh, wait.
What’s people-pleasing? Ok, allow me to introduce you all to the earlier me. Absolutely easy-going, craving for approvals and validations from others, completely displeasing. From the very beginning, I kept others belief in front of my own. Terrific right!
It’s not the end here, I have trouble saying no, disagreeing with others, finding difficulty putting myself up and expecting everyone around me to be happy. Ok, so it’s not a wrong aspect to keep everyone happy, but doing this by keeping my own happiness on stake is wrong. So, that’s PEOPLE PLEASING.
The fact is I’m not the only person in this whole huge world who is suffering from the people-pleasing syndrome. This is common amongst women, as we always crave to be liked, cared and appreciated. That’s absolutely perfect! I too wished desperately to be a perfect sort of women, a perfect girl, daughter, wife, mother, employee and a lot more. But is that truly me? No, gradually this lifestyle creates a massive dissatisfaction and disgrace when we don’t receive what we have expected or deserved.
How to know whether you’re a PEOPLE PLEASER or not?
Most people believe it as a form of selflessness. But there is a difference between being selfless and losing yourself for always focusing on others. If you are still on the fence to judge the difference, I’m here to take you out from this no-clue situation!
What’s so bad about being a PEOPLE PLEASURE?
People pleasers are generally the kind-hearted ones. But, they gradually adopt passive behaviour with a sacrificing sentiment. Periodically this leads the way to resentment, anger and depression. You need to realize that you are here to live your own life, the life you crave. Not a life people expect you to live. You are solely responsible for your deeds and rulings. It’s perfectly normal to be passive in a certain situation, but being habitually passive is dangerous for our own mental health.
How can I be more ASSERTIVE?
Ok, now what’s this!
Have you ever gone through a dilemma where you really want to speak your heart out? And you actually did it!
Expressed what you feel for a person without thinking of a consequence? Or just imagine being able to get the promotion you’ve worked so hard for, just for being what you are.
When you are assertive you effectively express what you actually want to convey, without being passive or demanding. You stop caring about what people think and what they want.
Can we have some more sorted points for stop being PEOPLE- PLEASER?
Here are 5 tips that have helped me stop being a people-pleaser and provoked me to be more assertive, and these tips you should implement into your life as well. Obviously, if you wish to do so!
I allowed myself to be ME first!
People are smart. They know when you are acting like yourself and when you are trying to be what they want you to be. The first rule for being assertive is to be self. Try to be authentic. If people don’t admire the present you, then it’s their loss, not yours. Being assertive helps you to settle your relationships with truthfulness and you gradually come across the genuine people who admire you for what you are.
I altered my mindset!
I never prioritized mindfulness and mental strength. If you have asked me before that one day I’m going to focus on these aspects immensely, then you may get a response like – wait, what…?
I have always been a hard critic for the people giving importance to self, concentrating on mental peace and happiness. Learning a hard way, after my mind started flooding with unfavourable energy, I started prioritizing and practising mindfulness and gratitude.
I started to let go of the opinion of others and actually found a sense of happiness and pride for who I already was. The more I focused on being myself the less I bothered about others opinion. In initial stages, I felt as I’m alone in my decisions but gradually I felt good to be independent, as now I don’t crave for others approval and validation.
I let go trying to be perfect!
I never wanted anybody to point out my flaws. I always focused on others opinion and that is because I was trying to be perfect. I always wanted people to like me and envy the path I’m living. But do you know how hard it is to be perfect for everybody around you?
The best chunk of advice that I can give you is to let go of perfection and to instead focus on progression. There is always going to be an area for improvement in every aspect of our lives. So quit trying to be perfect and focus on being the best that you can be.
I avoid comparing myself to others!
Gosh! Everybody has their own talent, their own sense of understanding aspects, then why the hell we try to compare ourselves to others? “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” Albert Einstein is often credited with this wonderful quote. That’s so true!
I generally came across people feeling depressed and discouraged as they always compare their beginnings to others end results. We can’t get everything on our plate, right?
When you stop comparing yourself to others it will become easier to live your life to the fullest. Instead of putting all your energy to please others, start pleasing yourself.
I started focusing on being productive!
People enquired me for being always occupied and not accompanying huge get-togethers and gatherings. That’s not because I’m avoiding those miraculous thoughts, but I believe in setting goals and accomplishing it.
When we know what exactly we want from our life, anything else hardly matters including the judgement of others.
Always try to set a goal and make a road map to reach there. Surely, you may experience hurdles and obstacles on the way, but as long as you know where you want to go, you will reach there regardless of what people think about the route you take.
What’s your way to stop being PEOPLE-PLEASER? Let me be enlightened with your suggestions too!
You are you, and that is your greatest power. Never let anybody take that away from you. This is your life, don’t let anybody’s judgement ruin it. Don’t let anybody sit on your head as headlights to show you their brighter side🤓.Choose your side and make it bright!
“When you stop living your life based on what others think of you, real life begins. At that moment, you will finally see the door of self-acceptance opened.”
– Shannon L. Alder
#PeoplePleasing #StopPeoplePleasing #BeSelf #SelfAcceptance #PositiveMindset #HealthAndWellness
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Greta stuff to read and really needed.
Thank you so much for appreciating this one! ☺
You have penned it down so beautifully and I am not sure is the answer to your question 😂😂
🤓BTW thank you so much for adoring this one!
This is such an important post, I used to be a people pleaser and all it did was make me miserable and angry at myself. Thank you for sharing this, I think it will help a lot of people.
Thank you so much for reviewing it! Indeed we rise up with a better story of our lives when we start thinking from our mind! ☺☺
This is fantastic! So well put together and I love the imaging. I confess I used to be a people pleaser, but as I've gotten older I've taken a step back from others and concentrated on myself :)
And that's what I doing too! Have an incredible journey ahead and thank you so much for adoring my work☺!
This is such a great post! I always use to say yes to people as I didn't want to upset them or cause an issue... but then I started to realize that actually, it was more important for me to say no and think of myself. It's made me a lot happier. Also, I love the images that you've used!
Thank you so much for the read! I really appreciate your liking. ☺
Great article! I completely resonate. Great information here. Thanks for sharing.
Christy - https://beholdher.life
Thanks for the read!!
Wow that was such an interesting read. I try to be myself at most of the occasions but sometimes I do need to be people pleaser.
Occasionally It's the perfect act to maintain the positivity, but habitually it creates resentment. Thanks for the reading dear!
So true...
You’re are welcome.
I love the graphics you've included to back up your points, that's a great idea. I also can identify with people-pleasing and much of what you've discussed so thanks for validating my own experience through writing this blog post.
Thank you so much for the review, it feels really incredible when you bring appreciation for your deeds! Hope you are enlightened and I seek your support in future!
Totally loved the article. Honestly I have stopped thinking about giving a damn to people because it tires me to the core!
Exactly! we should least care what people think, as people literally think too much😂. We are perfect and we should feel confident as well as proud for all our deeds. We ourselves are the best person to judge and act! Thanks for sharing your views.
This was really interesting to read. My husband has always struggled with his natural 'people-pleasing' tendencies. It's something that I never really understood, but reading this has helped quite a bit. Thank you!
Thank you so much for adoring this! I really appreciate your thoughts and it feels good when your work supports or enlighten someone in the real world. I myself worked on it a lot and now, it seems perfect to be self!